Chapter 13

Feeling like a coward for leaving Ernie’s, I walked the forty-one blocks from the nightclub back to the hotel. Along the way, i thought about my gloves, which were stolen at Pencey. I imagined an elaborate confrontation with the unknown thief, but im a coward at heart, i'll admit it, i'm afraid of violence and confrontation. When I got to the Edmont, I took the elevator up to my room. The elevator operator offered to send me a prostitute for five dollars, well I accepted I was depressed as hell. While waiting in my room, I thought about my cowardice again. I though about if i didn't get tougher maybe I would never sleep with a woman, because that's what they want, women that is, a man who asserts power and control. When the prostitute Sunny arrived I saw she was only a young girl with a high voice. I go depressed as hell, especially so when she removed her dress. She sat on my lap, trying to seduce me, but I was extremely nervous and told her I don't want to have sex because I am recovering from an operation on my “clavichord.” When I payed her the five dollars I would hvae owed her she claimed that the price was ten. I refused to pay the extra and she left in a huff.