Chapter 21

When I reached my parents place I took the elevator up to the apartment. Luckily, the regular elevator operator wasn't there, so I convinced the new one that I was just visiting the Dicksteins, who live across the hall from the my parents.
I sneaked into his the apartment and looked for Phoebe, I forgot she likes to sleep in D.B.'s room when he is in Hollywood. Phoebe sleeping peacefully, children always look peaceful when they are asleep. While she was sleeping I read her old school books. She has signed her name “Phoebe Weatherfield Caulfield,” even though her middle name is Josephine. I enjoy reading the notes to friends, the curious questions, and the random imaginative jottings she scribbled on the pages.
I finally woke her up, she was really happy to see me and all. She started rambling on about one thing after another: her school play, in which she would play Benedict Arnold, a movie she has just seen, a movie D. B. is working on, a boy at school who bullies her, and the fact that our parents are at a party and won’t come home until later. When she calmed down she realized that I was home two days early and must have been kicked out of school. Over and over, she repeated that father will “kill” him. I tried to explain to her, but she refused to listen and covered her head with a pillow. Then I went to go and find some cigarettes.

Chapter 20

After Luce left, I stayed at the bar for a while, got very drunk and all. I found my way to the phone booth and made a late-night call to Sally Hayes, she wasn't too happy about the time. The thing was, I really wanted to trim her tree at Christmas, so I asked her a few times, to make sure she would remember and all. After I had finished talking to Sally I decided to walk to the duck pond in Central Park to see if the ducks were still around. On the way, I broke the record I had bought for Phoebe, that depressed the hell out of me. Then I got worried about getting pneumonia, I had forgotten I had splashed my hair with water to try and sober myself up, my hair was now beginning o freeze. Then I got to thinking about if I died, what would my funeral be like, and who would be there. I didn't go to Allie's funeral because I was in the hospital after breaking the garage windows with my bare hands. But I remember going to Allie’s grave with my parents. Boy they fix you up when your dead. I though about old Phoebe and decided I'd sneak home and see her, my parent should be asleep. I'd be quite as hell.

Chapter 19

At the Wicker Bar, which was right in this posh Seton Hotel, I started thinking about Luce. He's three years older than me and now he's a student at Columbia University. At the Whooton School, Luce used to tell the younger boys about sex and all. He killed you, he really did his is a bit of a phoney though. When Luce arrived, he was cool as hell. We got on the the subject of sex, I was asking questions and all, it was pretty interesting. Luce wouldn't answer them though, he just said he doesn't talk about it much since he left Whooton school. I told his that my sex life was lousy, he just said "Naturally. Your mind is immature." Thats when he suggested me talking to his father, who was a psychoanalysis. I asked Luce is his father had ever analysed him, he got quite mad after that because of my immature questions and left

Chapter 18

After leaving the skating rink, I went and got a Swiss cheese sandwich and a malted milk. Then I got Jane on the mind again, I though about calling her. I remember the time I saw her at a dance with a boy that was obviously a show-off, but Jane argued that the boy had an inferiority complex. Girls always use that same excuse to date arrogant boys. Finally, I called Jane, but no one answered. Then I thought I would give this guy I knew from Whooton School a buzz, he was called Carl Luce, he said he would meet me for drinks later that night.

To kill time, I went to see a movie at Radio City Music Hall. The show I watched, the Rockettes’ Christmas stage show, was ridiculous, full of phoney actors who knew they where good, a bit like Ernie, the piano player. I remember when me and Allie used to love the kettledrum player in the Radio City pit orchestra. The man was an unnoticed, minuscule part of the show, but he seemed to take joy and pride in what he did. After the show and the movie began, which was boring as well. When the movie was finally over I started walking to where I was supposed to meet Luce, it was called the Wicker Bar. After watching the movie, which was all about war and all I started think about what D.B. used to tell me about the army, I decided that I could never be in the military. I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm going to sit right the hell on top of it. I'll volunteer for it, I swear to god I will.

Chapter 17

At two o’clock, I went to meet Sally at the Biltmore Hotel; she was late but she looked stunning, so I immediately forgave her. We horsed around in the taxi on the way to the theater. When we were at the play, the actors really annoyed me because, like Ernie the piano player, they were almost too good at what they do and seemed really full of themselves, and all. During the intermission, Sally really irritated me by flirting with a pretentious boy from Andover, another prep school, but when she asked to go iceskating he agreed and took her to Radio City after the show.
While we were skating I though about how Sally might only have wanter to go ice-skating so she could wear the short skirts, her ass did look pretty cute though. When we took a break and sit down indoors, me and Sally really got to talking. I began to rant about all the phonies at the prep schools I'd been to and in New York, and all. Then I had this really great idea, me and Sally should run away together and escape from society, live on our own in a cabin, and all. Sally started saying that this dream was ridiculous, that when I got really agitated. We were arguing for quite a while when i said something that i regretted straight after, I called Sally a royal pain in the ass, thats when she started to cry. I apologized like a madman, but Sally was upset and angry with me, I couldn't take it any longer and left without her.

Chapter 16

After breakfast, I went for a walk. I thought about how selfless the nuns must be. I can’t imagine anyone I know being so generous and giving. I headed down Broadway to buy a record called “Little Shirley Beans” for Phoebe. I kinda like the record because, although it is for children, it is sung by a black blues singer who makes it sound raunchy, not cute. I thought about Phoebe, she is a wonderful girl, although she’s only ten, she always understands what I mean when I talk to her. You'd like her. I saw an oblivious little boy walking in the street, singing, “If a body catch a body coming through the rye.” That really gave my a big bang. I was that happy that i decided to give Jane a buzz, but i put the phone down when her mother answered the phone. I bought some tickets to a show called 'I Know My Love', for mine and Sally's date. She'd just die when I told her it was The Lunts.

I wanted to see old Phoebe, so I went to look for her in the park because she often roller-skates there on Sundays. I met this little girl who knows Phoebe. At first, she told me that Phoebe was on a school trip to the Museum of Natural History, but then she remembered that the trip was on the Saturday. Even though Phoebe wouldn't be there I walked to the museum anyway. I remembered the class trips I used to go on there. The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. It just kinda freezes time, everytime you went in, all the exhibits would be the same, even the same birds would be hanging from the ceiling. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that, exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have an overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was you partner in line last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have a new parter. Or you's have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Aigletinger. Or you'd heard you mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way - I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it. When I got there though, I didn't feel much like going in, if Phoebe was there I probably would have, but she wasn't. So I just got a cab down to the Biltmore to meet Sally.

Chapter 15

The next morning, I called Sally Hayes and made a date with her for later that afternoon. I checked out of the hotel and left my bags in a locker at Grand Central Station. I worried about losing my money, I remembered how my my father used to get when I lost things. While i had time to think, I was remembering my mother and how she hasn’t felt too healthy since my brother Allie died. Thats another reason that I can't tell her I got chucked out of Pencey, she might have a heartattack or something, she really might.
I went to eat breakfast at a little sandwich bar, where I met two nuns who were moving to Manhattan to teach in a school. I stuck up a conversation with one of the nuns about Romeo and Juliet. I saw that one of them had a little basket and asked if they were taking contributions because I was willing to make one. I eventually got them to take 10 dollars off me. After they left I realised just how much I shouldn't have given them that money, I needed it for my date with Sally. Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.

Chapter 14

I sat on my bed and smoked for a while in my hotel room. I remembered an incident shortly before Allie’s death, when I wouldn't let Allie come down to Lake Sedebego on our bikes and take our BB-guns, I still feel guilty for leaving Allie out. When I went to bed I kinda felt like praying, but I didn't. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. In my pajamas, I opened the door to face the elevator operator, Maurice, who had returned with Sunny to collect the extra five dollars Sunny demanded. I tried to refuse, I really did but old Maurice pined me against a wall while Sunny took the money from my wallet. Maurice snaped his finger into my groin, it hurt like hell, that's when I started to insult him. Maurice slugged me in the stomach and left me crumpled on the floor. I imagined myself as a movie character, taking my revenge on Maurice after having been plugged in the gut with a gangster’s bullet. Finally, I got into bed and went to sleep.

Chapter 13

Feeling like a coward for leaving Ernie’s, I walked the forty-one blocks from the nightclub back to the hotel. Along the way, i thought about my gloves, which were stolen at Pencey. I imagined an elaborate confrontation with the unknown thief, but im a coward at heart, i'll admit it, i'm afraid of violence and confrontation. When I got to the Edmont, I took the elevator up to my room. The elevator operator offered to send me a prostitute for five dollars, well I accepted I was depressed as hell. While waiting in my room, I thought about my cowardice again. I though about if i didn't get tougher maybe I would never sleep with a woman, because that's what they want, women that is, a man who asserts power and control. When the prostitute Sunny arrived I saw she was only a young girl with a high voice. I go depressed as hell, especially so when she removed her dress. She sat on my lap, trying to seduce me, but I was extremely nervous and told her I don't want to have sex because I am recovering from an operation on my “clavichord.” When I payed her the five dollars I would hvae owed her she claimed that the price was ten. I refused to pay the extra and she left in a huff.

Chapter 12

The cab was a real old one that smelled like someone'd just tossed his cookies in it. I always get those vomity kind of cabs if I go anywhere late at night.
What made it worse, it was so quiet and lonesome out, even though it was a saturday night.
In the cab i asked the driver if he knew the lagoon down by central park south. I asked him if by any chance he knew where the ducks go in winter. And boy was he sore about it. He kept saying that he doesn't know and that i should grow up and all. Lot of people say that to me, they really do. I don't pay the too much attention though.
I was taking the cab down to Ernie's nightclub and all. Ernie is a pianist, a good one at that. The only problem is he knows that he's good.
Anyway, when i got to Ernie's it was packed out as usual. Finally, they gaveme a table in the corner which i had to climb over a couple of people to get to.
I'm not sure what it was that old Ernie was playing, but whatever it was he was stinking it up adding in all these show-off ripples and high notes. The crown was going wild.

All of a sudden this girl came up to me, I recognized her almost at once. Her name was Lilliam Simmons, she used to go out with D.B. She asked me about him and I told her all about him moving to Hollywood and all. Prostituting himself. She thought it was 'marvelous', I hate that goddam word, it's so phony. She was with some sailor and when she left he gave the kind of handshake that practically broke your damn fingers off. When she asked me to join her I made up some excuse about having to meet somebody, I didn't feel to hot about staying and shooting the bull with old Lillian about D.B.

People are always ruining things for you!

Chapter 11

I got old Jane Gallagher on the brain again on the way out to the lobby. I got her on and i couldn't get her off. I remember when i showed her Allie's baseball mit, she was the only person i ever showed it to. She and I became very close. Then there was one night when we got close to necking. We were playing checkers on this big screened-in porch, I was kidding her about keeping her kings on the back row. Not too much though, you never wanted to kid Jane much. Anyway, that evening it was raining like hell and all of a sudden this booze hound her mother married came out of the house asking Jane if she knew where any cigarettes were. He had a lousy personality. Old Jane wouldn't answer him, and when the guy asked again she still didn't anwser, she didn't even look up. When the guy went in i asked he what was wrong and she wouldn't even answer me. When she began to cry i came and sat so close to her i was nearly on her goddam knee. Then she really started to cry. Then next thing I knew I was kissing her all over. Anywhere, her eyes, nose forehead.
Jane's terrific to hold hands with, all i knew was, you were happy. You really were.
Thinking of old Jane made me upset, so i returned to my room. All the light's where out in the rooms across the street. Although I was still wide awake, so i made my way downstairs to grab a taxi.

Chapter 10

While changing to go and check out the hotels club, The Lavender Room, I damn near gave my kid sister Phoebe a buzz. But I couldn't take the chance of my parents answering. You should see old Phoebe, you never saw a kid so pretty and smart in your whole life. As a matter of fact im the only dumb one in the family. She had this red hair, a little bit like Allie's. You'd like her. I hate movies, but i don't mind taking old Phoebe, they kill her.
Anyway, it wasn't too crowded in The Lavender Room, but they still gave me a lousy table. After a failed attempt to but alcohol i settled for a Coke. They'd lose their jobs if they were caught selling to a minor. I'm a goddam minor.
Sort of hit it off with 3 witches and ended up dancing with all of them. The blonde one was the best looking of them but while dancing she started telling me how they saw Peter Lorre last night, some phoney actor. They left quite soon after I had danced with them all, saying they had to be up early for the first show at Radio City Music Hall.

Chapter 9

First thing i did when i got off at Penn Station was go to the phone booth, I felt like giving someone a buzz. As soon as I was inside though, I couldn't think of anybody to call up. I thought of giving Jane Gallagher's mother a buzz, find out when Jane's vacation started and all, but then i didn't feel like it.
Came out and got a cab, I'm so absent-minded, I gave the driver my regular address, so when I asked if he would turn around he said when he got a chance. Then all of a sudden I thought of something. I asked the driver about the ducks in the lagoon right near Central Park South, I asked where they go in the winter when it all gets frozen over. He turned right araound and looked at me like I was a madman. I told him I was just wondering but i had no idea. I had put on my red hunting hat but took it off before i checked into the Edmont hotel.
They gave me a very crumby room but i was to depressed to care. I went over to the window, you'd be surprised what was going on on the other side of the hotel, I saw one guy with gray hair with just shorts on do something unbelieveable. He first put a suitcase on the bed, then took real women's clothes out and put them on. In the window above his I saw a man and a woman squirting water out of their mouths at each other, they took it in turns for gods sake. All the while they were in hysterics, it wasn't even that funny. Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are.
After smoking a couple of cigarettes I felt pretty horny I have to admit. Then I got this idea. I had a number of someone i met at a party, I found it in my wallet and gave her a buzz. She wasn't exactly a whore or anything, she just used to be a burlesque stripper or something. She finally picked up so I asked if she wanted to meet up, she said she couldn't because she needed her beauty sleep. She suggested sunday but i told her i couldn't make it. Boy, I really fouled that one up, I should've at least made it for cocktails or something.

Chapter 8

It wasn't too far to the station so I walked, it was cold as hell outside. I sort of enjoyed the fresh air though. The cold hurt my nose but my ears were nice and warm, I had the earlaps down, I didn't give a damn how i looked. I like riding on trains, I travel quite often, I especially like it at night. I took off my hat just as this lady got on at Trenton and sat down next to me. She stuck her bag right out in the isle. She was around forty or forty-five but she was very good looking. Women kill me. They really do. I don't mean i'm oversexed or anything - although i am quite sexy. She saw my Pencey Prep sticker and we got talkin, turns out her son went there too. When she asked my name I told her Rudolf Schmidt, I didn't feel like giving her my life story. Rudolf Schmidt was the janitor of our dorm. I felt bad after lying to her so I asked her about her son, mother's like nothing better than talking about there children. His name was Ernset, he was in my class and all. I talked him up for a bit saying he adapts very well to things. I suppose I got a little carried away but she seemed happy. After a while she looked me and asked why I was going home so early, she thought something might have been wrong at home. I reassured her everything was fine with my family, I said I had to have an operation. She was very concerned and all, I said I had a tiny tumor on my brain. She put her hand up to her mouth, I just told her i'd be fine because it was on the outside of my brain. I had to start reading this timetable I had in my pocket to stop lying.

Chapter 7- UNFINISHED!!!

A tiny bit of light came through from the shower curtains the divided mine and Ackley’s room, I went in and it was pretty dark, I whispered in the darkness to Ackley, asking if he was awake, I knew he wasn’t but I was trying to wake him. When he was awake I asked him where the light was, when I flicked the light on he put his hands up so it wouldn’t hurt his eyes. When he saw me he asked “what the hell happened to you” I just said that I had a little goddam tiff with Stradlater, and then went on to ask him if he felt like playing a little Canasta. But he still went on about my goddam face, telling my I was still bleeding. I persisted about playing Canasta. He started shouting about what time it is and that he had work in the morning. He started asking about the fight but I got out of answering by saying that by saying that it was a long story and I didn’t want to bore him. We shot the bull for a while, then he asked again what the hell the fight was about. I didn’t answer him. All I did was, I got up and went over and looked out of the window. I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead.

Chapter 6

I can't remember what i was doing when i heard old Stradlater coming home, i really can't. I think i was looking out of the window, wondering how his date went with Jane, NOT Jean. I was so damn worried. I had a right to, i had been on a double date with him once, he was unscrupulous. When he came in he didn't say a word of how his date went, he just started taking off his tie and asked it i had done his composition. I didn't answer him straight away but after a while i handed it to him. He just stood stroking his chest and stomach with a very stupid expression on his face. "For Crissake, Holden. This is about a goddam baseball glove" he said. “I I told ya it had to be about a goddam room or house or something”
“You don’t do one damn thing the way you’re supposed to. I mean it. Not one damn thing.” He Said.
I didn’t really bother that much with him, I was still to worried about what had happened on that goddam date bit Jane. Turned out he didn’t even go to New York like he planned. He told me that a guy called Ed Banky had lent him his car. Ed Banky was the basketball coach at Pencey. Old Stradlater was one of his pets because he was the center on the team so he let him borrow his car when ever he wanted. This worried the hell out of me. “What’d you do? Give her the time in Ed Banky’s goddam car?” My voice had gone all shaky I was that worried. He didn’t answer the question just asked if I wanted him to “wash my mouth out with soap” I asked again and he simply replied “ That’s a professional secret, buddy.” The next part I don’t remember so hot, all I remember was getting up and trying to sock him one, with all my might, right smack in the toothbrush so it would split his goddam throat open. Only I missed, all I did was hit him on the side of the head or something. Anyway, the next thing I know I was on the floor with him sitting on my chest. We argued for what seemed like forever then he calmed down and just told me to go and wash my face. I told him to go and wash his own moron face – which was a pretty childish thing to say, but I was mad as hell. I told him to stop off on the way to the can and give Mrs Schmidt the time. When he got off me I got up and began to look for my hunting cap, which I eventually found. It was under my bed. I put it on and turned the peak to the back, just the way I like.

Chapter 5

Dinner on Saturday nights are always a big deal, steak and all. The only reason they did it was because the guys' parents came up to school on Sunday and old Thurmer probably figured everybody's mother would ask their darling boy what he had for dinner the previous night. You should have seen them though, they were these little hard, dry jobs that you could hardly even cut. Boy, they were lousy.

When we left the dinning room it was so nice, there were about 3 inches of snow on the ground and it was still coming down like a madman. Everyone started horsing around, childish i know, but we really enjoyed ourselves.

Later me and this friend of mine, Mal Brossard decided we'd take a bus into Agerstown and have a hamburger and maybe see a lousy movie, because neither of us felt like sitting on our ass all night. I thought it might be nice for Ackley to come along, he doesn't get out much, Mal wasn't crazy on the idea though. You'd think he was doing US a big favour the way he went on, and it took him about five hours to get ready. While i waited for him to get ready i walked over to the window and started packing a snowball, then looked aroun for things to throw it at, I started to throw it at a car, but i changed my mind because it looked so nice and white, innocent and all. Then i thought about throwing it at the fire hydrant, but that was too nice and white, so i just kept packing the snowball harder. Finally, when old Ackley was ready and we went down to get on the bus, the driver opened the doors and made me throw it out. I told his i wasn't going to throw it at anybody but he wouldn't believe me. People never believe you. I didn't want to go to the movies anyway, not with Ackley and Mal, they both laugh like hyenas at stuff that wasn't even funny.

When we got back I put on my old hunting hat and started writing the composition. The thing was i couldn't think of a room or a house to write about, so what i did, i wrote about my brother Allie's baseball mat, there were poems scrawled all over it in green ink, he said he liked to read them when he was fielding and nobody was up to bat.

(ooc= about Allie)
It was a left-handed fielding mitt. Allie is dead now, he got leukemia and died when we were up in Maine, on July 18, 1946. You'd have liked him. He was two years younger that I was, but he was about fifty times as intelligent.

Chapter 4

I didn't have anything special to do that night so I chewed the rag with him a while as he was shaving. I hate vanity, and stradlater is so vain, he spends most his time perfecting himself in the mirror, although he is a secret slob, you should have seen the state of his crumby razor, full of old hair and rusty as hell. He always looked good afterwards though, I'll admit. I think I'm developing a nervous habit, because I couldn't stop turning the tap on and off. I still had my hunting cap on, with the peak to the back, I got a real bang out of that. After Stradlater asking me to do an English composition for him, and again I didn't answer his straight away. I walked into the middle of the bathroom and started to do a tap dance, just hoarsing araound, you know.

Turns out Stradlater was going to see a movie, god I hate movies like poison When I asked him who he was going with he wasn't even sure of the name. Jean Gallagher he replied.
Boy, I nearly dropped dead when he said that. 'Jane Gallagher' I said, damn right I knew who that was, I used to play chckers with her all the time. I really miss Jane, it's been a while since I have spoken to her, I though I should go down and say hello but couldn't bring myself to it. This dat with Jane and Stradlater, is made me so nervous I nearly went crazy. Even though she had only signed out until nine thirty pm, I knew what Stradlater was like. In the end, I agreed to let Stradlater to borrow my Hound's Tooth, and I said I would do his composition for him, and he went off for his date with Jane.

Chapter 3

I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If im on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say i'm going to the opera. It's terrible. Kind of like when i told old Spencer I had to go and pick up my equipment from the gym, sheer lie, I don't even keep my goddam equipment in the gym.

I live inthe Ossenburger Memorial Wing in the new dorms, it's only for juniors and seniors. And how crumby is this, it is named after this guy Ossenburger that went to Pencey in the good old days. He made a pot of dough in the undertaking business after he got out of Pency, he probably just chucked the bodies in a sack and dumped them in the river. Anyway, he gave Pency a pile of dough, and they named a wing after him. He made a speech last time he visited, firstly he made about 50 jokes to show us what a "regular guy" he was, then started telling us not to feel ashamed to kneel down and pray to god sometimes. He said we ought to think of Jesus as a buddy and all. He said he talked to Jesus all the time, even while driving his car. That killed me, I could just picture the bid phoney bastard shifting into first gear and asking Jesus for a few more stiffs.

Anyway, it was pretty nice to be back to my room, after I left old Spencer, because everybody was down at the game, and th heat was in ou toom, for a change. I took off my coat and tie and put on this hat i had bought in New York that morning. It was this red hunting hat, with one of those very, very long peaks. I saw it in the window of this sports store when we got out of the subway after leaving our equipment. It only cost me a buck. The way I wore it, I swung the old peak way around to the back - very corny, I'll admit, but i liked it that way.

The book I was reading was this book I took out of the library by mistake. They gave me the wrong book, and I didn't notice it till I got back to my room. They gave me Out of Africa, by Isak Dinesen. I thought it was going to stink but it didn't, it was a really good book. Although my favourite author it my brother D.B, and my next favourite is Ring Lardner. Anyway, I put on my new hat and sat down and started reading the book Out of Africa, I had read it already, but i wanted to read certain parts over again. I had read about three pages and then i heard someone coming through the shower curtins dividing my room from the room next door, and without even looking up i knew it was Ackley, he is always barging in on me, at least eighty-five times a day old Ackley barges in on me. He was a senior and had ben at Pency the whole four years and all but nobody ever called him anyhting buck 'Ackley'. Not even Herb Gale, his own roommate ever called him 'Bob' or even 'Ack'. He was very tall and had mossy, awful teeth that damn near made you sick if you looked at them. Ackley hates quite alot of people, a bit like me I suppose and he is always calling me a goddam kid (ooc=he doesn't like being called a kid but he wants to stay one)I dodn't like Ackley that much. After the interuption, and me reading the same sentence of my book over and over about one hundred times, I slid down my chair and watched old Ackley making himself at home. I was quite tired from the trip and started to yawn. Then I started to horse around a little bit, sometimes I horse around quite alot, just to keep me from getting bored. I pulled the peak of my old hunting hat over my eyes, so that i coulnd't see a thing.
'I think Im going blind,' I said this in a very hoarse voice. 'Mother darling, everything's getting so dark, in here.'
'Mother darling, give me your hand, why won't you give me your hand?' I was only hoarsing around naturally, that stuff killed me.

All of a sudden Stradlater barged in, in a big hurry. He gave me two little slaps on both cheeks, he can be quite annoying sometimes. He had a date, he asked if I had anything important to do and if he could borrow my hound's-tooth jacket. I didn't answer him straight away though. After a while Ackley went back into his own room, he didn't like Stradlater that much. Stradlater went to the bathroom to shave and i followed him in.

Chapter 2

Anyway, I went to see old Spencer, the minute I went in I was sort of sorry i had come. He was reading the Atlantic Monthly and there were pills and medicine all over the place, and everything smelled like Vicks Nose Drops, it was pretty depressing. I felt even more depressed when I saw old Spencer, he was wearing a very sad ratty old bathrobe that he had probably been born in and I don't much like seeing old guys boney chests sticking out. I don't like old people, I really don't. No matter how old or fragile he was though, I still sort of respected him, I liked his innocence, I don't know whether it was the fact he was wrapped in a bathrobe like an innocent child or whether it was the Navajo blanket that was wrapped around him, it kind of reminded me of the American indians and all, anyway I liked it, I really did.

Then he started on this big lecture about Life being a game and all. You know. Game my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right- I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it? Nothing. No game.

Then it came... Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's just so phony. I could puke everytime I hear it.

Then he was wondering what my parents would think about me getting chucked out of ANOTHER school, I said they would be pretty irritated about it, they really would. Boy they really would. There's another thing I have noticed, I say Boy alot, I really do, partly because I have a lousy vocabulary and party because I can act quite young for my age sometimes. I was sixteen, though I'm seventeen now, but sometimes I act like I'm about thirteen. I suppose it's quite ironical because I am six foot two and have half a head of grey hair and everyone is always telling me to act my age. And sometimes I do, I really do, but people never notice, People never notice anything. Anyway after a while i got very bored, and frankly quite annoyed after he read my goddam paper on the Egyptians, I wouldn't've read it out load to him if he'd written it, I really wouldn't. So I decided I should leave, I started shooting some bull of having to pick up some equipment from the gym. Funny thing is, I was sort of thinking of something else while i shot the bull, I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park South. I was wondering if it would be frozen over when i got home, and I was also wondering where all the ducks went at the same time. I wondered if some guy came in a truck and took them awat to a zoo or something. Or if they just flew away. This kind of reminded me of myself, just wanting to escape, just to fly away.

Chapter 1

"Since 1888 we have been molding boys into splendid, clear-thinking young men" What a load of old bull. That's pencey prep by the way, and thats another goddam school added onto the list. As for this goddam moulding, as I said... a load of old bull. The school's full of phoneys, goddam phoneys. A bit like my brother D.B we used to get along just fine, he used to care about me, he really did, until he moved to Hollywood with all the goddam phoneys to write books and make crumby movies, he just like the rest of them.

Anyway, I didnt go to the game because I had been to a fencing meet in New York, only we didn't have the meet as we left all the foils and equipment on the goddam subway. Although there was another reason I wasn't down at the game. I was on my way to say good-by to old Spencer, my history teacher. He wrote a not saying he wanted to see me before I went home, he knew I wasn't coming back to pencey Prep.